Volume 19 Number 25 Produced: Mon Apr 10 1:41:14 1995 Subjects Discussed In This Issue: About Men [Shimon Schwartz] Co-ed, etc. [Zvi Weiss] Just Imagine... Women [Yaakov Menken] Nashim Daatan Kalot [Hayim Hendeles] Nashim Daatan Kalot - v19#18 [Yehudah Edelstein] Nashim Daitan Kalot [Mike Grynberg] Pants [Michael J Broyde] Pants [Ari Shapiro] Women's Roles Today [Miriam Haber] Zimun and Women [Howard Reich] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <schwartz@...> (Shimon Schwartz) Date: Fri, 7 Apr 1995 11:29:45 +0500 Subject: Re: About Men >From: <jekorbman@...> (Jeff Korbman) The reason why I ask is because I found myself trying to get to shul to daven with a minyan this past shabbos, and my daughter, Aviva, was really not in the mood to put on her clothes and leave. (She wanted to eat M&Ms) As a single father, it felt a bit funny. Now I know, that you can not tailor make halacha for each individual, and ultimately I can accept that once a man, always a man; or once a woman, always a woman, but I wonder: Can one's obligation in this regard change based on life circumstance? Is there any discussion about stuff like this, or is "Lo Plug, ask your Rav" what it comes down to? There is a general rule that one who is occupied with one mitzvah is exempt from all other mitzvot until he finishes. Obviously, there are defined exceptions. I would now ask about (1) the "mitzvah" nature of (a) getting your daughter dressed, or more generally, (b) caring for your daughter, and (2) whether any one of the mitzvot of (a) kri'at sh'ma, (b) tefillat amidah, and (c) tefilla b'tzibbur is a defined exception in this case. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Zvi Weiss <weissz@...> Date: Thu, 30 Mar 1995 13:01:52 -0500 Subject: Co-ed, etc. One of the posters was critical of the criticism that Ari Shapiro leveled toward Co-ed. After noting some material floating around in the Iggrot and also reading the Nefesh HaRav (as authored by R. H. Schachter SHLITA), it seems pretty clear that co-ed is AT BEST a sort of B'dieved -- i.e., if it will be impossible to establish a school otherwise, then co-ed can be accepted... Maybe RAMAZ satisfies that situation. HOwever, I -- also -- fail to understand how any school can be described as an "ideal" when it is involved with matters that are clearly not considered "suprerior" from a halachic viewpoint. I would be most interested in any citations of p'sak that treat co-ed set-ups as (a) desireable or (b) as a "Le'Chatchila" ... --Zvi. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <menken@...> (Yaakov Menken) Date: Mon, 03 Apr 1995 15:46:24 -0400 Subject: Re: Just Imagine... Women Yisroel Rotman asks us to... >Just imagine if one day all the Rabonim got together and realized that >they had made a mistake - men were exempt from "time - related mitzvot" >and the like; women had to do all the mitzvot. Why is this relevant? Our entire Torah, written and oral, was given by G-d Himself to Moshe on Mount Sinai. That's one of the obvious fundamentals of our faith. It is G-d who did not obligate women in Talmud Torah and positive, time-bound mitzvos. No modification can be made in Torah Law. [I'm tempted to ask us to imagine the Rabonim getting together and realizing Shabbos is actually on Sunday...] Freda Birnbaum writes: >I believe this is a misunderstanding of the drive for more participation. >As a friend of mine said years ago, on being asked, why did she want to do >X, Y, Z things which usually only men do, she replied, "Because these >things ARE the holy things of this religion!" [...] >May I suggest that it is a serious question and not a flame, to ask, what >is the motive behind the motive when men get SO upset and SO critical of >women doing things which are clearly permissible [...] It is certainly true that every woman may perform Mitzvos which the Torah did not require her to do - and she is doing Mitzvos and gets reward for them. However, this is only true if her desire is to perform the Mitzvah despite her recognition that she has no obligation - not if she wants to do the Mitzvah because of some complaint against the Torah system as it stands. The Sanhedrin's Rabbinic pronouncements (Torah readings, Davening, having a Chazzan lead services) are themselves a response to a Divine Command that they make new prohibitions and obligations (with a clear declaration that these are Rabbinic rather than Torah mitzvos) where appropriate. Though some might be tempted to write a flaming response (with blasters set to "vaporize") for either of my comments above, before doing so it would be worthwhile to read Reb Moshe's oft-mentioned Teshuva, Orach Chaim Chelek 4, Siman 49 (page 80). The English wording is obviously mine, but the ideas are just as obviously his. No finer asbestos suit could be developed. For myself, I'm still trying to comprehend the above quote from Freda's friend. Am I wrong, or is she saying that the study of the Laws of Loshon Hora and commitment to keep them is NOT holy? That chesed groups, doing a tahara, raising children - these things are NOT holy? Are there two Torahs, ch"v? The "Holy" Torah, consisting solely of a few "things which usually only men do", and the "mundane" Torah, consisting of several hundred "mundane" mitzvos? Davening for the Amud, layning, receiving aliyos, dancing with the Sefer Torah (!!) -- all of these are Rabbinic commandments and customs. If someone believes in "this religion" that renders those more "holy" than the Torah commandments... Yaakov Menken ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <hayim@...> (Hayim Hendeles) Date: Thu, 6 Apr 1995 10:24:58 -0700 Subject: Re: Nashim Daatan Kalot >The context of the quote from Chazal, "Nashim Daatan Kalot" is >in regards to the laws of men & women not being alone in a >private area (hilchot Yichud). The Mishna in the 4th chapter >of kiddushin states ... Before jumping to any conclusions as to the intent of the phrase, note that the Talmud also uses it as the justification for Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai to go into hiding. When the Romans put him on the "10 Most Wanted List - Wanted Dead or Dead", and launched an intensive manhunt searching for him, he was afraid that the Romans (infamous for their barbaric and hideous cruelty) might torture his wife and force her to reveal his whereabouts. He used the phrase "Nashim Datan Kalot" to describe his fears of his wife giving in to the torture that would be inflicted upon her by the Romans. Obviously, it was not meant in a negative sense. Hayim Hendeles ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <yehudah@...> (Yehudah Edelstein) Date: Fri, 7 Apr 1995 18:08:22 +0200 Subject: Nashim Daatan Kalot - v19#18 Some MJers were affended or just weren't willing to hear another possible explanation, which I had heard and thought to relay it to everyone. What I mentioned should come to credit women with attributes that man may not have. Mentioning examples such as a housewife or secretary just demostrates that these tasks require functioning successfully at several tasks simultaneously, and easily (Kalot) jump in the middle of one task to another and back, etc. I did not think that a woman cannot become a lawyer or physician. The fact is that 99% of secretarial jobs in the USA or Israel, are held by women. Peseach Kasher Vsameach. Remember! Dust is not Chametz and the husbands and children are not a 'Korban Peseach'. Yehudah Edelstein "<yehudah@...>" Raanana, Israel ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Mike Grynberg <spike@...> Date: Sun, 9 Apr 1995 07:16:13 +0300 (IDT) Subject: Nashim Daitan Kalot i believe the phrase is also used by the first line of tosfot in chulin to expalin why a women should not be a schochet. (ritual slaughterer of animals) mike grynberg ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Michael J Broyde <relmb@...> Date: Sat, 8 Apr 1995 23:47:30 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Pants One of the writers questioned whether there were halachic authorties that permitted the wearing of slacks by women. For sources that permit the wearing of slacks by women, see Shut Bena Baim vol 2, at page 211, where Rav Yosef Eliyahu Henkin is quoted by his grandson, also a well known posek, as permitting lose fiting slacks. So too, Rav Aharon Lichtenstein is quoted in Dov Frimer's dissertation on tzinuit as permitting lose fitting pants. Even my own rebbi, Rav Bleich, in his article in Contemporary Halachic Problems II 144-147 is very ambivilent about the issur and states "While there is little doubt that in many instances the type of slacks curretnly in vogue do not conform with halakhic norms of modest dress, it is difficult to agree that this must necessarily always be the case." He concludes that wearing pants is something that wives of talmidai chachamim, and others who represent torah, should not do. As with all postings of this type, people have to be careful when they post about unanimious opinions of halachic authorties. Michael Broyde ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <m-as4153@...> (Ari Shapiro) Date: Sun, 9 Apr 95 21:16:40 EDT Subject: Pants <Why is a woman's wearing pants not tzanua? Please supply sources that <explain why, and not just make the claim that it is so. Thank you. I supplied a source R' Ovadya Yosef among many others (Yabia Omer 6 Siman 14) says that pants are by definition not Tznius for a woman to wear. See also Halichos Bas Yisrael which quotes this Teshuva of R' Ovadya Yosef and adds that R' Scheinberg and R' Elyashiv both agreed with R' Ovadya Yosef that pants are not tznius. The reason given is that pants outline the lower half of the womans body. Ari Shapiro ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Miriam Haber <mhaber@...> Date: Thu, 6 Apr 95 10:32:11 BST Subject: Women's Roles Today I am writing in response to Yehudah Edelstein's posting regarding the meaning of "nashim dayaton kalot". I do not know if anyone else was amazed by the examples he provided but I could not believe that in 1995 someone would write (other than in jest)- "A woman would ordinarily be a secretary", or "a housewife". I am an attorney. I have female friends who are physicians, engineers, computer programmers, seeking PhDs etc. I think that perhaps the poster should consider whether he is thinking about womens' issues in a realistic manner since he thinks that women will ORDINARY be secretaries and housewives. Many women ARE secretaries and housewives but many others are not. Since many women have the same jobs as men, it is difficult to believe that his theory regarding the meaning of that Talmudic statement has any merit. Miriam Haber <mhaber@...> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Howard Reich <0006572811@...> Date: Wed, 5 Apr 95 18:40 EST Subject: Zimun and Women R. Arye Frimer reported: > I met with Rav Dovid Feinstein last week and discussed two issues >with him which the readership may find of interest. (Present at this >meeting were my brother Dov and my Brother-in-law Noach Dear). >... > 2) He saw nothing wrong with 3 women making a zimun in the presence >of two men, but felt that since the men don't count toward the zimun >they should reply like one who has not eaten - namely "boruch umevorach >shmo tamid le-olam va'ed" Rabbi Feinstein told me on the telephone this morning that women should not form a zimun. I asked him whether it was because nowadays, women generally do not bench with a zimun and this can be compared to a minhag that one should not abrogate. He answered in the affirmative. When I referred to Rabbi Frimer's report above, he said "one thing has nothing to do with the other." If one or two men are in the presence of women who have (nevertheless) formed a zimun, then the men should use the alternate phraseology generally used by those who have not eaten. I am left with several questions. 1. While there is disagreement among rishonim about whether women are obligated to form a zimun, at a minimum according to the shulchan oruch, orach chayim, 199:7 and the related mishne brura, women have reshus, permission to form a zimun. None of the written sources I have seen say that women should not bench b'zimun. The explanation given in the mishne brura for not requiring women to form a zimun is that women were previously not altogether familiar with the text of the zimun blessing, a condition that arguably does not exist today because basic Hebrew literacy is the same for both men and women among all shades of Judaism. Even so, it is fair to say, women today do not generally form a zimun when they eat together. What are the parameters of elevating a minhag to be halacha today (as per Rav Feinstein), even though it appears to be contrary to all Rishonim? 2. Could the "women shouldn't bench b'zimun" position be motivated more out of fear arising from the fact that those who advocate it tend to combine the issue together with other "women's issues" that are less sustainable halachically (see, e.g., Leah Gordon's posting in V18N50)? 3. The alternate phraseology "boruch umevorach shmo tamid le-olam va'ed" "His Name is blessed and shall be blessed forever and ever," is appropriate for one who hasn't eaten and cannot respond with the standard phrase "boruch sheochalnu..." "blessed be He of Whose we have eaten..." Why would the alternate phraseology be more appropriate than the standard one for someone who *has* eaten? BTW, in addition to Rav Dovid Auerbach approving of women benching b'zimun, I've been told by two independent sources that the women in the home of Rav Ausband, of Telz Cleveland, do bench b'zimun together. As always, consult your own. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Volume 19 Issue 25