Volume 20 Number 48 Produced: Sun Jul 16 15:17:21 1995 Subjects Discussed In This Issue: Bedtime Sh'ma [Michael Anapol] Gomel Bentshing [Mordechai Perlman] Marshmallows (2) [Josh Wise, Zvi Weiss] Marshmellows [David Charlap] Mixed Seating [Mordechai Perlman] More Kid Questions: Bedtime Sh'ma and Marshmallows [Jeremy Nussbaum] Pants for Bicycling [Linda Levi] Seperate Seating at Weddings [Chaim Steinmetz] The word "Teva" in the Zohar [Mordechai Perlman] Wedding Minhagim [Gayle Statman] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Michael Anapol <manapol@...> Date: Sat, 15 Jul 1995 08:49:59 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Bedtime Sh'ma In MJ 20/44, Connie Stillinger asked for suggestions to help the panic that a little one feels because Sh'ma at bedtime ends storytime, etc. When our now 10 year old son was first with us (we adopted him at 19 mo.), we would wait until bedtime, when he was sleepy and suggestible, and say Sh'ma for him. After a while, he started saying the words right along with us. Although we are not orthodox, bedtime prayers are something we do observe. One thing I noticed when bedtime started to become a problem, i.e. "Can't I stay up a little while longer?", just lying down and saying his prayers would act as a soporific on Robbie sometimes, and he would actually be asleep before they were completed, at which point his Mother or I would complete them for him. BTW, when Robert (or Reuven, as he's called in school), first joined our family and started attending a day school at age 3, (Kinneret Day School in NY, a wonderful environment for a non-orthodox child), he seemed to think that all strange-sounding words were Hebrew. I was describing a pending business trip to the Meditterranean on the phone, and the other party was familiar with my destinations, as I repeated the names of the cities, Algeciras, Valencia, Fos, Livorno, Robert piped up what he thought was the expected response, "Omayn!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Mordechai Perlman <aw004@...> Date: Sun, 14 May 1995 21:16:22 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Gomel Bentshing Mike Gerver wrote: >Someone asked why one should, according to some opinions, bentsh >gomel after any plane flight, but not after driving the same >distance in a car, which is much more dangerous statistically. Mike goes on to suggest an interesting solution. This solution is only valid for Ashkenazim, however, because Sepharadim have the custom (as per the p'sak of Rav Ovadia Yosef) to bentsh gomel if they have made a journey of 1.5 hours, a time which he apparently considered dangerous enough to require its recitation. Mordechai ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Josh Wise <jdwise@...> Date: Fri, 14 Jul 1995 14:30:17 EDT Subject: Marshmallows The problem with marshmallows is the gelatin. Gelatin is derived from animal bones. Unless otherwise noted the gelatin companies don't care whether the bones were taken from a kosher or non-kosher animal. Several years ago, a company by the name of Elyon decided to produce a gelatin (known as "Kolatin") which is derived solely from the bones of Kosher animals. It is under the hashgacha of the O-U, and is universally accepted. (That is, by those who accept the O-U in the first place). An interesting twist to the gelatin question occurs in the differences between the American and Israeli customs regarding gelatin (and the necessity for using only bones from Kosher animals). When I was in Israel for the year, I saw a candy which said "Kosher under the supervision of the Chief Rabbinate for those who eat gelatin." I asked the Rav at my yeshiva and he said that it was "a stupid American chumra (stringency)" to refrain from eating (regular) gelatin. I'm sure that many people are familiar with the "kosher" marshmallows that only appear around Pesach-time. I would suspect that these are acceptable in Israel, but the custom of the American Orthodox community is not to accept them Josh Wise <jdwise@...> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Zvi Weiss <weissz@...> Date: Sat, 15 Jul 1995 23:00:03 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Marshmallows People who have access to Lakewood (and I am sure other places, as well) can get Kosher Marshmallows under the Elyon Label. This stuff is made with *real* GELATIN which is also Kosher and Parve. You can also get "Jello-style" deserts under the Elyon Label -- which are just like "J-e-l-l-o"... Hope that this helps. --Zvi ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <david@...> (David Charlap) Date: Fri, 14 Jul 95 17:40:04 EDT Subject: Marshmellows Constance Stillinger <cas@...> writes: >I'd appreciate it if someone would remind me what the low-down is on the >kashrut of marshmallows. Are there *any* kosher (by Orthodox standards) >brands, and what are they? I've seen one brand in the New York area. I've only seen it sold around Pesach time, for some reason. There's no reason why there can't be kosher marshmellows. You don't have to make them with gelatin, the way most brands are. The kosher ones use egg whites and other vegetable-source ingredients. -- David ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Mordechai Perlman <aw004@...> Date: Sat, 15 Jul 1995 23:34:17 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Re: Mixed Seating On Thu, 13 Jul 1995, Chaim Wasserman wrote: > Let me append to this an incident which occured with my > soon-to-be-musmach son about to get married in the summer 1987. He > wanted, as is expected of this generation, separate seating and a > mechitah at the wedding. When the parent generation told him that they > saw no necessity for even it "In Lithuania in Telshe they didn't have > such an arrangement" he stridently rejected that assertion spouting all > sorts of (worthy) Torah information. > > It took strenuous urging to get him to call Rav Gifter whose opinion I > personally heard years before directly from him of the halachic irony > that has developed as a result of the mechitzah at a wedding. He told me > in my car on the way to a wedding in the Catskills his estimation of the > mechitzah and that in the original Telshe they didn't have such > arrangements. > ... > Is there anyone who has a grandparent or older who derives from > Frankfort-am-Main who could reliably report what was done in the > tradition of SR Hirsch, R. Ezriel Hildesheimer and R. Dovid Zvi > Hoffmann? The minhag in Washington Heights today is that the men sit on one side of the room whereas the women on the other side. However, quoting what they used to do in Telshe or Warsaw 50 years ago is entirely irrelevant to today' situation. Okay, let's not talk about halacha. Maybe you're right, there is no halacha about mixed seating at weddings or other gatherings (at least in Lithuanian Poskim) but the fact remains that today, call it a minhag, call it hora'as sha'a, the times are such that increased separation of the genders on occasions when frivolty are present should not be frowned on. On the contrary, they should be applauded. The times are such that unfortunately the Yetzer Hara is around every corner, in all circles, among the best people, because we are so absorbed into the society of the street whether we recognize it or not. The fact is that 15 years ago in our yeshiva there was no mechitza between men and women at simchos and today there is. I think that the Roshei Hayeshiva are very much attuned to the prevailing spirit of the times and are trying to prevent what might occur in the future if nothing is done about it now. Mordechai ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <jeremy@...> (Jeremy Nussbaum) Date: Fri, 14 Jul 95 13:16:07 EDT Subject: More Kid Questions: Bedtime Sh'ma and Marshmallows > >From: Constance Stillinger <cas@...> > I'd appreciate it if someone would remind me what the low-down is on the > kashrut of marshmallows. Are there *any* kosher (by Orthodox standards) > brands, and what are they? There is the Kolatin brand of gelatin made from fish parts, which is kosher according to all. There is a significant premium for this gelatin (e.g. $2+ vs $1 for the marshmallows), and marshmallows made from it are available from a number of companies. While the subject is raised, can some of the older or more historically oriented mj'er kindly enlighten me on the history of the european kosher gelatin business, particularly on the details of the preparation and the widespreadness of acceptance of this. As far as I can tell, there is very little explicit acceptance of this product in the Orthodox communities in the US these days. > Also, my little kid (2.5) screams when we try to say the Sh'ma with him > right before bed, because he *knows* that means story time etc is over > for the night. Would it be permissible to say it with him before > reading stories? (I'm accustomed to the tradition of making it the last > thing before lights out.) More generally, how do you handle introducing > the bedtime prayers with *your* little-bitty kids? I have for a long time said shma with my younger daughter before the last story, so she could fall asleep during the story without any issue. My older daughter for a long time has insisted on saying the shma herself. :-( While on the subject, I'm curious what "Jewish bedtime rituals" other parents out there are accustomed to. Shabat Shalom! Jeremy Nussbaum (<jeremy@...>) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <MSGraphics@...> (Linda Levi) Date: Sun, 14 May 1995 20:54:16 -0400 Subject: Pants for Bicycling I used to race and tour a lot and I still enjoy bicycling whenever possible. I used to rationalize that it was ok to wear pants. Riding in a skirt with pants underneath makes me feel less than modest, as I attract attention by looking ridiculous. Nevertheless, I have asked this shaila of my Rav- and he has not been comfortable with any way around it. It's that, or give up altogether. So now, I attempt to bike on more private trails. Sometimes, a committment to doing the right thing, (relying on the paths that our gedolim have already blazed and cleared for us, accepting that others with more das Torah than we have can interpret halacha in ways that make more sense than we can possibly understand,) is more difficult than others. I'm sure not all Rabbis will answer as strictly, but I urge you to ask a reliable posek. Safety is not the issue here- sniut is. Thanking Hashem properly- while enjoying those "perfect bike days" He sends us- is. BTW- loose culots that are long enough to be suitable are far more dangerous than skirts- and more likely to get caught in the spokes. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: <Chaimstein@...> (Chaim Steinmetz) Date: Fri, 14 Jul 1995 12:23:04 -0400 Subject: Seperate Seating at Weddings While personally my minhag is like those who do not have a mechitzah at wedings, I would like to note that the idea of seperate seating at events is not completely without basis. For example, the Gemara in Sanhedrin (20a) is clear that men and women stood seperately at funerals, even though (as Tosafot s.v. "nashim" points out) there is far less problems of mixing between the sexes at a funeral. chaim ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Mordechai Perlman <aw004@...> Date: Sun, 16 Jul 1995 00:18:44 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Re: The word "Teva" in the Zohar Somebody wrote that the Zohar contains words that are mideival in style such as the word "Teva" (nature). I have used a computer to search the Zohar and no such word came up. The only word that did come up was spelled like "Teva" (Tes, Bais, Ayin) but was a misprint and should have been spelled "Tovo" (Tes, Bais, Aleph) meaning good as the words in the Zohar were "Yoma Tovo" (Good day). Mordechai ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Gayle Statman <GAYLE_STATMAN@...> Date: Fri, 14 Jul 95 12:42:50 EST Subject: Re: Wedding Minhagim Chaim Wasserman asked: >why couldn't all pictures with the chosson/kallah together be taken >(or at least most of them) several hours before the wedding >smorgasbord and only the joint extended family pictures after the >chuppah since not everyone in the family arrives so early. When >asked about this in August of 1959 shortly before my wedding, Rav >Moshe zatzal told me "Fahr vos nisht?" "Why not?" Please forgive my ignorance, but I thought the chosson and kallah were not permitted to see each other before the chuppah. Did I misunderstand? gayle ----------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Volume 20 Issue 48